what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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