It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
