so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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