? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
