I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
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