Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
