So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
