i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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