i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
