Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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