We named our party play list daddy issues
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
