Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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