I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
