I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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