I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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