Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think my vagina is haunted
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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