I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize