So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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