You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
too bad you live with your parents still
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
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I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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