If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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