your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
