drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
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Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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