I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
