i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
