mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
