The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis