My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
a victory without nudity is not really a victory