we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage