I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
