we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
