people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he thought i was a dude.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??