Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?