Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.