She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
my liver is dry heaving