This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"