i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves