To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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