Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
