Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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