I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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