then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
