So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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