I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
