I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize