so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
