Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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