i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
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i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
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Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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