someone get that fucking seahorse.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
