p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
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We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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