Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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