Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.