I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.