Your mouth is God's brothel.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i will never coherently bang her
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.