Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
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I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday