just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.