Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Randomize
Follow @tfln