I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.