No awkward lesbian experiences without me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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