Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
