Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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