Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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