After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
